Comments
Destiny Ever-changing

 
almehiri Sunday, 3 May 2015
seems interesting
 
Pandora Rayne Tuesday, 17 July 2012
Looks like I finished reading just in time before you removed the last chapters! Whew! I'm so glad this book is getting published. I WILL buy it just to be able to reread it! Amazing!
 
Sparkled*Crypt Friday, 30 December 2011
This is amazing!
 
romance_lover101 Friday, 30 December 2011
LOVE ITT
 
stormdog11 Monday, 17 October 2011
loving it! :)
 
mhertz Wednesday, 29 June 2011
enjoyed!
 
CHH Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Love it!
 
Caery Tuesday, 28 June 2011
I love love love this book ,Hurry want to read more
 
big dumb idiot god damnit Friday, 21 May 2010
Wow. This was truly amazing. I'm really looking forward to more of your work!
Tasha Ivey Thursday, 20 May 2010
Thanks to everyone that has been reading and giving great feedback! Being the featured book has been awesome!!! I'm working on chapter 11, but please be patient. Life is super busy!
AlaskaEverfall Wednesday, 19 May 2010
I love this!!
great work, and i love your writing style!!

Great work!
Rhose Whyte
P.S: Could you please read my book 'different'? Please and thank you!
 
UndeadBeauty Sunday, 16 May 2010
OMIGOD!! i love this, it's so sweet! i'm gonna recomend this 2 everyone i kno! I wrote a book called Moon Angel, can u read it n give me some feedback???
luv it!
Tasha Ivey Friday, 14 May 2010
Thank you, Jake! That's a great compliment that I'm the only one you have read all of! Wow! Thanks, again, for your kind words!
 
Jake T. Smith Thursday, 13 May 2010
This is really good. I would definitely buy it if it were published. to be truthful, its the only book on this website i've actually read the entire thing of. haha! i love it! really great writing skills.
Tasha Ivey Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Thank you Stacey! I really appreciate you taking the time to read it!
 
Stacey Dunnachie Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Loving this!
 
Tara Lomax Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Love it!!!
Tasha Ivey Friday, 23 April 2010
Your comment about how I put an exclamation point after "everything" really threw me off. I misunderstood and kept reading and re-reading thinking that you meant I had an exclamation point after every sentence. I realize now that you meant after the WORD "everything." Ha ha! I'm a little slow sometimes. I do agree on that...I have a tendency to write like I talk, but I am trying to be sure to keep exclamations in dialogue only. Guess that one slipped through the cracks. Another one I missed was the $5000 part. I have been writing out all of my numbers, but I guess habit got the best of me there. I have been struggling with tense quite a bit. It's easy to get thrown off when you write in present tense and switch to past. I'll go back and check it all again. I thought I had found them all. Thanks for pointing these things out. When you read through it so many times, your brain already knows what it says, so you don't read it as closely. That's why it's so important to have other people read it. Thanks for your compliments! It really means a lot to have good feedback.
 
SydneyFaith Friday, 23 April 2010
Okay the part where you're talking about how everything they like is different-you have an exclamation point after everything, I think you should make that a period because your story is coming off as sleek and sophisticated and that kind of throws it off. Like a black dress and a bright yellow scarf-it doesn't look right.
When you're talking about the expensive fish, you should write out the number rather than the number itself. Five thousand dollar fish.
Another problem in here is that you are writing in past tense because you keep referring to it as 'last night', but sometimes I think you get off track and say things like 'say' instead of 'said', and you tell what your character is doing like shes doing it right then and not last night. You have to be careful with that, read it all over first and make sure that you double check any words that aren't past tense. Other than these grammatical mistakes I found this chapter really captivating and moving. Your descriptions are amazing, and your characters are realistic. As you will probably find when writing, characters are the most important part of your story. If your characters aren't believable, then neither is your story. But good job with this, and I will definitely be reading more :)
 
Ashton Schrock Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Good news, I read it and found no 3/4 anywhere in this chapter! It's even better than when I first read it! Love ya
Tasha Ivey Monday, 12 April 2010
Okay, I've made some of the suggested changes, so hopefully it flows a little better!
Isabella Darcy Saturday, 10 April 2010
First off, thanks for commenting on my book, Arizona Skies :) As for the description, I really don't know- no, I don't have the thesaurus in hand, I guess it just...comes? Sorry, I know that's not very helpful, but it's the truth!
Anyway, about your book. Interesting start- and I don't think you have any problem with detail or description, that was one of the things that I found really nice about this. The setting feels natural and comfortable, enough description so we can get an idea of where this is taking place but not too much shove-down-throat imagery. I like the sort of cynical overtone in this, it feels believable, and I immediately feel drawn to the main character. That being said, I do have a bit of critique.
It feels like you're switching tenses. I'm assuming we are in the present and Laura and telling what happened earlier, but you might want to double-check.
I think the dialogue is a little awkward. If good friends (as I assume Laura and Fawn are) are talking to each other casually, I think it should be more natural- I feel like the language is formal.
Kind of cliche caught-in-the-act moment, but whatever- at least he was caught, right? And when you're adding commentary, you don't need to say "I was mad, frustrated, and disappointed"- SHOW US, don't tell us.
Haha, I laughed at the $5000 tropical fish part.
Okay, so those are my thoughts on chapter one. Will continue :) Keep writing! You have promise.
Tasha Ivey Wednesday, 7 April 2010
If anyone notices a 3/4 in either of my chapters, please let me know. I have some long dashes in my text, but this website reformats it into a 3/4. I think I found them all and just changed them to a hyphen.
Tasha Ivey Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Thanks! It's certainly a work in progress. I keep making adjustments, so check back often, as the story may change a little. Hopefully, I'm finished changing around the first two chapters, so I'm on to chapter three!
 
Love2Read Saturday, 3 April 2010
Love this.
 
maggey Wednesday, 28 May 2014
This is amazing can you please take a look at my novels and tell me what you think of them thanks carry on with yours it amazing
 
KCNiemi Tuesday, 5 March 2013
This is really good! I would love to get your opinion on one of my novels :)
 
Abby Vandiver Thursday, 21 June 2012
Writing is very good. Story kind of predictable - - he's the owner of the house, right? Just guessing. And why would she move from Alabama to Baltimore (not exactly a "big" city) to be with a man she doesn't love? A sudden gust of wind picks up panties out of a box and sends them flying? Looking forward to see where this is going!
 
stormdog11 Monday, 17 October 2011
amazing! :)
 
Caery Tuesday, 28 June 2011
ITs Great
 
big dumb idiot god damnit Friday, 21 May 2010
Still awesome. At the beginning of the fourth paragraph, it says after all twice. I think it sounds a little bit repedative. Thank you so much for posting!
 
Tara Lomax Wednesday, 12 May 2010
GREAT!
 
Tara Lomax Wednesday, 12 May 2010
GREAT!
 
SydneyFaith Sunday, 25 April 2010
Haha, this is really cute! It made me laugh out loud, and thats good because I dont know many books that can do that!
 
Ashton Schrock Thursday, 15 April 2010
ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!
Isabella Darcy Saturday, 10 April 2010
LOL! Sorry, had to keep reading- that actually made me laugh out loud. VERY well written, I actually cringed when the panties flew. How embaressing! I like the foreshadowing you have and the self-deprecating narrator, she's very lovable :) Very fun read.
Just a leeetle bit of constructive criticism...
I feel like in the beginning of this chapter where Laura explains the parent situation is a bit forced, like you're trying to get this info out of the way so you can progress. Slow down a bit and don't be afraid to reveal this throughout the novel instead of right at the beginning. Not everyone is so cut and dried, and discovering new info about the character as we progress through the story is very interesting and engaging for us readers.
And I have to say, I already love the "dirty gardener". And what luck! To have a box of granny panties in your trunk..ahh..thanks for the laugh :)
 
Jay d Thursday, 14 January 2016
Really great writing style- I can actually see the scene panning out in my mind!!

I'm loving Brooks and Laura already- I ship it!

If you could read/comment/ rate my story, I would really love to hear what you have to say about it. You have wonderful talent!
 
RenayeMP Tuesday, 17 July 2012
Love him already...
 
stormdog11 Monday, 17 October 2011
still amazing. you're a really good writer...i am loving this! :)
 
big dumb idiot god damnit Sunday, 23 May 2010
Really good. Well, also could you please read/comment/rate my chapters? I have Ch. 1 & 2 up... and some middle chapters. Thanks so much! (Even if you don't read it)
 
Jake T. Smith Thursday, 13 May 2010
this is so great! again. i love it! (((::
 
SydneyFaith Sunday, 25 April 2010
I really like his point of view.
 
Rojo Sunday, 11 April 2010
Very, very good! I love it! Write more!!
Tasha Ivey Friday, 9 April 2010
To be compared to Nicholas Sparks in any regard, is a great honor! Maybe, he and I can someday collaberate on a book! Ha ha! I just hope to be half the writer that he is.
 
Shebo Thursday, 8 April 2010
Move over Nicholas Sparks! Looks like this could be a great movie! Can't wait to see more!
 
Caery Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Want more
Tasha Ivey Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Tosha, the best books leave you hanging and wanting more! You would know that if you would READ! Ha ha! :)
Tasha Ivey Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Thanks again, Isabella, for the comments! I have checked and rechecked tenses, but they are slipping through the cracks, I guess. I do see what you mean about the believability of Brooks' dad getting him to agree to marry so quickly. I may have to work on that part a little. On the deal with Laura speaking to Brooks, you'll understand it more after you read the next chapter. It's one of those caught-in-the-act type of moments. Again, I truly appreciate the feedback! You have been a huge help!
 
ToshaS Monday, 12 April 2010
ok, 1st I read the first 2 chapters and wanted to know who the gardener was...now you leave me hanging with laura and brooks meeting again...ahhhh! lol
Isabella Darcy Monday, 12 April 2010
Finally they meet! Was waiting for this :) I do like how in this chapter we learn a bit more about Brooks and his situation...and I'm eager to see where this goes!
As for my critique:
Again, with the tenses. I'm assuming you're trying to write present tense, and just explaining what happened earlier in past tense, but it's still confusing for the reader. Present tense is very fun to write, and once you start, very addictive (trust me I know), but your writing will just come off as muddled and confused if you don't go back and check the tenses. Ex. 'the gentleman that my father recommended checks up on me again'- since Brooks is retelling this, checks should be checked- easy to fix, right?
The overbearing, controlling dad is plausible, but I think you should slow down a bit and make it more believable. Again, it seems like you're rushing to continue with the story. To me it feels hard to believe that all of that could happen so fast and that Brooks' dad could MAKE him marry just like that, without any argument or more threats, etc.
I like Brooks' commentary, and the description is really nice. One suggestion, though: after that whole escapade with the underwear, I do think Laura wouldn't be so bold and go up to Brooks and bring it up, it seems like (with the character you've built her) she'd be embarrassed and hoping he wouldn't notice her. Just a thought, though.
Keep writing! I'm looking forward to more :)
Tasha Ivey Thursday, 20 May 2010
Thank you so much, Jake! I want it published, too! Lol
 
Jake T. Smith Friday, 14 May 2010
oh my gosh!! i absolutely love this!! i would buy your book in a heart beat!! your really great!! i want this book published!(:
Tasha Ivey Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Thanks, ladies! At least I know I have two people in line for my book! If that doesn't attract a publisher, nothing will! Ha! Yeah right!
 
Destiny Coulter Tuesday, 13 April 2010
OMG! I must agree with what Karin V said. I too am tired of all of the vampiry stuff. The Twilight thing is being so over-done! I love love love your novel so far and please please please hurry and write more. I will be standing in line behind Karin V to buy your book. Goood stuff.
 
Karin V Tuesday, 13 April 2010
I LOVE your writing style! I usually find that when I am reading a book, there are always parts that I just can't wait to get through, because they bore me to death. I haven't done that with your book! You leave me wanting more and more! I don't know how old you are, but it's refreshing NOT seeing someone write about vampires, werewolves, or something immortal. I'm so sick of those! Very, very good. I hope you get published. I'll be the first to buy it! Good luck!
Tasha Ivey Monday, 26 April 2010
Thank you so much, SydneyFaith for all of your comments!! It means a lot to me!
 
SydneyFaith Sunday, 25 April 2010
OMG this is absolutely amazing. I love how long your chapters are, because I never want them to end! :)
 
Shebo Wednesday, 21 April 2010
Keep it coming...I can't wait for more!!!
 
Aria Shaffer Sunday, 19 February 2012
I love this book!! I can't wait to see what happens next...(:
Tasha Ivey Thursday, 20 May 2010
Keep it up, Jake. Thanks for your support!!!!
 
Jake T. Smith Wednesday, 19 May 2010
and i keep on reading..(:
 
SydneyFaith Monday, 3 May 2010
Another wonderful chapter! :) I can't wait to find out what Brooks says, and if Laura is mad...
 
Pseudonym Wednesday, 17 December 2014
I loved this story so much. It's so 'real' feeling and the characters are lovable. I might actually have to run across to Amazon and purchase it!
chelaa Wednesday, 22 January 2014
lovely storyline
 
john2054 Wednesday, 28 August 2013
At last a book with less than twenty chapters! When will people cotton on that the more chapters does not the better a story make! And the characters here were pretty dull if you ask me, but it was quite a good read, and hence the rating. Good luck!
 
awesomeness Monday, 29 August 2011
I honestly love this book!! When it's published I will hound every bookstore until I find a copy!!! Keep it up!! <3
Tasha Ivey Wednesday, 5 May 2010
Thanks so much! I'm glad you're hooked...that's the whole idea! ;) I'm hoping to get the next chapter done within the next couple of days. I spend every spare minute I have working on it, but I'm sure you know what that's like! Thanks again!
 
SydneyFaith Tuesday, 4 May 2010
Noooo! He can't hook Will up with Laura :( They're meant to be together, I just know it. Ha. Anyways, amazing chapter once again. I'm seriously hooked on this book, I check it everyday for new chapters. I'm glad you put new ones up fast or I would be going crazy!
 
SydneyFaith Monday, 14 June 2010
I am so addicted to this! I'm glad your chapters are so long :)
Tasha Ivey Thursday, 20 May 2010
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
 
RedRose Wednesday, 19 May 2010
Aww I knew it would be him!
 
tweesa Tuesday, 18 May 2010
please write more. im just addicted now :)
Sailor moon Tuesday, 18 May 2010
I really love this book! I hope you add more chapters soon!
Tasha Ivey Friday, 14 May 2010
Thank you so much, Hollystar. I'm working on Chapter 11 now, but it may be a few days!
 
Hollystar1011 Thursday, 13 May 2010
This book is so good.I can't wait to read more of it.
Tasha Ivey Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Many many thanks, SydneyFaith!
 
SydneyFaith Wednesday, 12 May 2010
This is so amazing! I'm hooked on this story. I can't wait for more :)
 
just_bein_me Thursday, 31 March 2011
wow this sounds amazing! i cant wait to read about what happens between them! i couldnt stop reading....i got sad when i saw there was no more chapters for me to read :(

so write soon! ^-^
Tasha Ivey Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Thanks, Luv_writing<3! I haven't been able to work on it in a while, but I do hope to start cranking out new chapters soon.
 
Danielle Nicole Monday, 6 December 2010
I really like it and wish there would be more to read.! It's really good, but it hasnt been updated in awhile, so update.! I really like the charactesr and the story you have going.
Tasha Ivey Wednesday, 14 July 2010
Ah...I guess we'll just have to see, wont we? Lol...thanks for reading!
 
Hollystar1011 Wednesday, 14 July 2010
I wish that there was SOME way for Brooks to get out of getting married. I hope that Jacqueline does something that Brooks dad find out about and ends up stopping the wedding or something like that... but thats just me. Please post some more chapters soon.
 
HunterH Saturday, 2 July 2011
So funny. I like this part. I'll def keep reading!
 
Kayla Beth Sunday, 29 May 2011
i love this book and its story line so far..i hope you write more soon i cant wait
 
homewrecker:) Sunday, 22 May 2011
keep writing its really good so far :)
 
Kayla Beth Monday, 30 May 2011
Ha that was great!!! I really wanna know what the she-devil is planning..i hope you post more soon!!
 
C MAC Tuesday, 10 April 2012
So freaking awesome! I would buy this one in a heartbeat! Would love to see more of your work.
 
HaileyAnn♥ Thursday, 13 October 2011
Please write more :) I love it!!!
 
HaileyAnn♥ Thursday, 13 October 2011
Please write more :) I love it!!!
 
awesomeness Monday, 29 August 2011
Wow!!!! I want to know what happens next!

Eagerly awaiting more,
awesomeness <3
 
emo-lover-//_^ Thursday, 11 August 2011
looooovvvveeee it! need more!!!
 
Laneylou Saturday, 2 July 2011
Need this in print! I love Brooks! I'll fight Jacqueline AND Laura for him!
 
Nanni Saturday, 2 July 2011
Addicted....neeeed....mooooorree....
Jasmin Thien Sunday, 12 February 2012
Even when Iíve read it from end to end and am now trying to compose my feedback, Iím still dazed by how your work has touched me to the heartís quick. It has been a long time since Iíve found such an excellent piece of art Ė every word was poetry, and every feeling a song to delight in.

Though, I must admit that your prologue didnít intrigue me to click onto the next chapter. I canít describe it Ė but the ending of it didnít contain that subtle hint that tantalizes me to go on.

However, Iím immensely glad I did, for I was drawn in immediately by the end of the second chapter. I will own that I finished reading your work in just a few hours Ė I was so hungry to devour more of it.

Your plot is something that everyone can relate to Ė the ups and downs of a relationship, the rise and fall of the heart, the storyline of love and its trials, in short, is one which quickly captivates many readers, particularly myself.

Youíve chosen a good storyline to write on, and I highly commend you on how youíve woven your plot together: Lauraís failures in relationships, Brooksís hard times in an forced engagement, and especially the journal of Reginaís practically a stroke of genius. I adore how youíve brought Laura through the bliss and ecstasies of spending moments with Brooksís by words from her mother Ė that is touching in itself, and in each happy incident threads a poignant something that brings a throb to my heart.

I must say it Ė you have an excellent sense of humor. Almost everyone of your scenes has a comical side to it Ė the first meeting, their romantic time in the sea, even Will and Ashton had their mite to add in the amusement. I found myself laughing plenty of times, and thatís a great achievement on your part.

Your dialogues are perhaps a little formal, yet I like it immensely Ė it isnít often that I discover anyone who doesnít concentrate mainly on slang and foul language to compose their conversations. Youíve managed it extremely well, and the casualty and comedy threading along the words is beautiful.

Your sense in romance is awe-inspiring. Iíve yet read a work which has such a subtle and delicious magic in its romantic moments. The rock cave, the dive from the cliff, the sweet conversation in Brooksís bedroom all testify to a nature which is pure in its worship for love, and I canít help falling fathoms deep in love myself whilst reading those scenes.

You have a good grasp of your language, and thatís much to say, for many works nowadays contain voluminous flaws veering to grammar, spelling, and vocabulary use. I have nothing to criticize on those lines, in fact I have even more to praise. Youíve maintained a steady flow of grammar, and a good straightforward adoption of simple and fluent vocabulary. Though, I have noticed once or twice a tiny flaw, something like ďHe canít help but smirkingĒ Ė forgive me if Iím wrong, I canít remember which chapter I saw that. It should actually be ď He canít help but smirkĒ.

Your style is first-rate Ė itís easy-going without being monotonous, clear-cut without being dull. It emphasizes on many factors, particularly on actions and dialogues. However, I noticed that youíre not strong on detailing sceneries. Indeed, Iím captivated to know what the characters are doing, though Iíd really love to know more about their surroundings as well. Describe the sunset, the beauty of the beach, the awesome spectacle of the waves crashing against the rocks below the cliff, etc.

I will admit that you lack in one other aspect Ė the feelings of your characters. Narrate how your characters emotions strike them, emphasize on every minute detail about their joys and raptures, jealousies and disappointments, miseries and passions, so you can draw your reader even more into the world you are portraying.

Instead of saying that Brooks was becoming attracted to Laura, show it in more evident a clarity Ė the throbbing of his heart, the pulsating of his blood, the clamoring of his nerves, the dizziness in his head, etc.

That will open up your readersí eyes to see your characters as real live people whom they know themselves. The more you can emphasize their love for each other, and illustrate it, the more theyíll seem real to your readers. Then I veritably believe, youíll be more than pure gold.

I must thank you for letting me read your work. As Iíve said, itís practically a work of art, done by an artist whom I can easily see is not only passionate but talented in her skill. I feel honored that Iíve been able to read it, and I congratulate you heartily for producing such an astounding work.
Tasha Ivey Friday, 6 January 2012
Thank you all soooo much!!! I truly appreciate the support!
 
awesomeness Thursday, 5 January 2012
I'm so glad this made "Featured Book"!!! You deserve it!!!!! I still love it.... :D
 
Sparkled*Crypt Wednesday, 4 January 2012
OMG this book is awesome! I LOVE IT!
 
cullengirl Wednesday, 4 January 2012
This is was one of my favorite books!! And u ended it perfectly!! Love it!!!
 
stormdog11 Monday, 24 October 2011
i loved it! this is one of my favorite stories! you are so talented at writing and i wish i could write good as this but i can't! but you did a really good job! i loved it!
 
HaileyAnn♥ Monday, 17 October 2011
That's a great ending! I loved it! I'm so glad you posted the rest of the book. I like that you interchanged the points of view, it made the book a lot deeper. Thanks so much for writing this. Best of luck!
 
emo-lover-//_^ Monday, 17 October 2011
omg one of the BEST books on here! i LOVED IT!!
 
cullengirl Sunday, 16 October 2011
I love it !!! It is so good!!!

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