I really enjoyed reading this, it immediately grabbed my attention.

This is interesting. But it seems as though you are bouncing between modern times and true medieval style. You need to pick one. Also, since this is a medieval story, you can afford to be more descriptive (it's okay, i had the same problem). But this beginning really grabbed my attention. Great start. I can really feel the chaos and confusion as Katie's captors argue back and forth and as the houses go up in flames, panic gripping the village. Absolutely thrilling. I will definitely finish this.

Very nice. Fast paced and heart racing. Good beginning to a story. If you can please come by my new novel, The Jewels of Neora. I think you would really enjoy it.

Wow, very great so far. This story really grabbed my attention and it's definitely my type of reading.

The style of language is not consistent with the style of the setting. If I am not mistaken this is supposed to be a medieval era high fantasy. "Sweats", "guys" and such words don'nt belong.

I really enjoyed this, need to carry on reading :) near the start you wrote 'ari' and I think you meant 'air' the only other thing I'd say is work on your description, the basics are there but its things like 'feiry fire' maybe 'ferocious fire' or 'dark flames'. These are only my suggestion and you don't need to listen to them :)

great job here! a few grammar mistakes, but a good idea altogether! mine reviewing mine? It's called, The Initiation Trials

Very Descriptive with a couple of errors here and there as others already told you. I'm sure this will ture to a great book with some more work. And I'm sorry but could check out mine as well. I'm sure you could spot some of my problems as well. Anyways keep working and you'll be worthy of publishing!

I'm still wondering... is this worthy of publishing...

Its really good. i agree with Julie this story really makes you visualize everything and thats important to a reader. Great job :) Please Rate and comment on mine with advice if you've got time. id apreciate it :)

I totally agree with
:) Don't Worry 'B.
Aside from a few grammatical errors, it's extremely good!
I could visualize everything in here. It takes talent to make people visualize.
So, kudos on that!
I can't wait to read more! I'm in the middle of homework, and I had to take a break, so I'll be reading on later!
=]
Good job, so far!

Wow. This is good stuff, I'd expect this in a book. It was really well done.

I think this has been written very professionally. It shows you have a lot of talent and a clear passion for writing. I love the atmosphere you set, I wish I could write like you because you convey so much imagery and emotions. I can't wait for more! Well done and keep it up!
Mind reading mine? :)

Interesting. Seems good. Watch out for word repeats and grammar errors.

check out the world of the wonderers

Other than the obivous grammar errors, I found it visually pleasing, which is more than a lot of people can say. Congrats!
But seriously, you've gotta grammar check, because it immediately puts the reader off your piece, leading them to believe your story isn't worth reading simply because you misused a comma. Work on it, or it'll be to your detriment. Also, if you have the time, I'd love it if you read and rated my story, "Futile".

This chapter is very well informed. I like the reaction speed that Katie has. This book is full of action just by reading the first chapter. Though if it isn't to hard to ask. do you mind reading a book of mine called Lightlords? Divine sword will go far I am sure. kind regards, G.B

Great beginning. There was only a few mistakes that I found, which are only minor and can be fixed easily.

Slammed was used too often in the beginning. Make sure to mix up your words, and check to see if you haven't previously used the same word in the last sentence.

I found air was spelt as ari.

The use of Fiery fire needs to be changed. Perhaps use: searing flames/ burning heat/ copper fire. . . . or something like that. Try not to repeat yourself about the fires. We know the town is burning to the ground and you only need to refer to it only so often.

You have great potential talent and I look forward to reading more. Could you take a look at my story and rate/comment if it's not too much to ask.

Great start, a little quick but still great.
There are a couple of mistakes, but its not like that's something new on the site.

I like these types of stories

This book is great. It hooks you in right away with strong action scenes and awesome characters. And you only have a few mistakes that can be easily fixed. Truly this is a good book.

Chapter Two: Some mistakes, such as hear instead of heard. You use the same word in the same sentence a bit, which is always a mistake. For example "The second it was free of his bow, he throw his bow down". The second bow should either use a different pronoun, i.e. He threw the carved wood, he threw it, he threw the weapon, ect.

Storywise, it's just brilliant. I like Richerd, though he seems a bit violent.

Avalon.

Love this book and the writer, book is full of adventure, danger, drama, and love, so is the writer. Great job with the book!! Love you Katie!!
-Her guy

Man this story gets better and better.

You might like my story. Leader Of Men

I really like it, I like the characters, and what I know, and have guessed of the plot. I have to say, Katies chapters are my favourite, keep up the great work.
Oh, and I was wondering if you'd check out my book, or what I have so far, called Book of the Dead.
Good luck, Heather

I can't believe I'm the only one whose rated your book! I love this, it's great! I just wanted to tell you, I've added another chapter to my book.
Can't wait for more of this,

Heather

This is actually very good!

this is awesome so far! :D

You had me hooked from the beginning. I can't wait to read the other one. Do you think that you could possibly read mine if you've got the time.

i love this so much. just a few grammer issues. but i love this book so much. keep writing.