Comments
Memories (Completed)

 
B.N.F Monday, 23 May 2016
This story is amazing so far! Can't wait to read the rest of it!
 
defenestrateme46 Sunday, 8 August 2010
I have one piece of constructive criticism. With a temperature of 110.3, the nurse would be calling an ambulance, not sending her home. I'd recomend lowering to around 102ish, at least while she's in the nurses office. It was always rise to 110 lator in the story.
 
Equinox1122 Monday, 30 January 2012
this book is so awesome, i was addicted from the first chapter. :)
MiseryRose Friday, 18 February 2011
OMG! This book is amazing! I absolutely loved it the whole time I was reading it. Though there are a few minor errors like the others said that the story could use without. If she weighed that much, then she'd be anorexic to the point where her bones would be poking out her skin. 110 pounds would be a little better if you dont want her to sound fat.


The other thing is her temperature. 112 degrees is way too high for her. If she did, she would be on the edge of death. I'm pretty sure that she would be hallucinating by then also and would have to bathe in ice to get her temp down.

Overall, awesome story. I LOVED it and I hope more readers come to check it out. I cant rate it cuz my cell wont let me, but I'll try ASAP to get on that. You should do a sequal on Lemux finding the other thing a ma jig. Sorry, dont remember the name. X] If you dont mind, could you check out my book Dreams and give me some advice? I'd really appreciate it! Please and thank you if you do.
 
HayHay18 Sunday, 8 August 2010
This story was really good and I actually wanted to know what would happen to the characters. It isn't perfect but I'm sure with more experience and re-editing it'll be amazing. Two things you really need to fix: One, her weight it's super unhealthy for a girl her height to weigh so little. It's not very believable for her to weigh 89 lbs. Second, her age. Humans haven't been around for millions of years so it makes it really hard to believe.
Pink Gal ^_^ Thursday, 5 August 2010
Ahhhh I love it!!!! Omg!!! It's sooo good u r like a pro!!! The story & everything was sooo good!!! The best book in here!!! :D <3

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