Life Happens
Author: Braylee B

Chapter 6
Everyone Has A Story

Most people can say they know someone. They know their name, their interests, their friends, But not many can say they know someone's story. That is a rare case. That someone can say they know a person's past, everything they have gone through, what makes this person who they are today. If people took the time to listen to someone's story, they could actually gain a great perspective of the person and life.

 

Everyone has a story: This is mine.

 

Starting young, I was always shy. Not as shy as I am today, but when you are only three or four, you don't have a care in the world. I was made fun of. In preschool, kids called me "Fat Baby." Yeah, they were just messing around, but it got to me like when someone steals your favorite color crayon. Didn't matter that much, but enough.

I started Elementary school a few years later excited as could be. But soon found out that it wasn't all that great. Yeah, I met a lot of new people and class was easy and fun, but I just never fit it. I talked to everyone, had a great time, developed silly little crushes, but I didn't feel like any real friends were made.

The years went on and i started growing up. I started learning who I was, and tried becoming less shy. I had one friend i hung out with a lot in fourth grade, but when she moved schools, I didnt really have anyone. Fifth grade was when things got complicated. I found this girl who I clicked with. I realized I liked her, and she liked me. She was my first kiss. We hung out a lot during lunches and in class. Then it was over with. Never really thought anything of it. That was also the year I found out Santa wasn't real. Before my parents told me, I cried when kids would tell me he didn't exsist. He was something I had always held onto. Something I needed in my life. Something that was always going to be there, and never change. But I got over it after some time..

Sixth grade had to be one of the hardest years for me in Elementary school. I only had 3 friends. The "Popular" kids laughed at me at recess and wanted nothing to do with me. I had no idea why they didnt like me, I still don't know. MY fourth grade friend came back and she wasn't a good person anymore. She tried to get me to cut once, but I threw the blade away, and later that week she got thrown out of school for stealing them from a teacher. I left sixth grade with a bad image of myself, but a boyfriend that stayed for two whole weeks.

 

Junior high. Ah, the two worst and best years of my life.

Seventh grade started out great. I was at a new school where I only knew two other people. I made a lot of friends really fast and we all stuck together. Hanging out at lunch every day, taking pictures, having birthday parties together, they were what I needed. I even got my first real boyfriend. Not my best move. But my best friend liked his friend, and I liked him, so we went on double dates. There was a lot of problems with him and me though. We broke up a lot and it was just rocky. So finally I didn't go back to him. That's when all Hell broke loose. He spread nasty rumors about me to the whole school. And of course, it spread like wildfire. Soon, people hated me and I had no idea who they even were. Even high school students hated me. I then turned to something that I got from watching a T.V. show.

 I started cutting.

Very quickly it became my way to escaping reality and focusing on something besides my thoughts and how I was feeling. It started out simple, and not a lot, or bad, but the worse the rumors got and the worse people treated me, the worse they got. It became a weekly habit, then an almost daily one. I was miserable. I did date though. And found happiness with these people. One person in particular, meant the world to me. We only dated for four months, but in those four months I started falling for him. He was perfect. I went to his baseball games, spent time with his family, went out to dinner with them too. We were going strong untill I went and ruined it...

 Eigth grade came and me and my friends started fading away from each other. I fell for the new kid. We dated and broke up. The rumors never got better. The cutting got worse to where my parents were called in on more than one occassion. Suicide became a daily option.  The year ended and I thought things were going to get better.

They didn't.

That summer the unthinkable happened. I was raped by a family friend I had known my entire life. I got the only thing I ever cared about and had control of ripped away from me. The one thing I wanted to hold onto as long as I could.

The cutting became an addiction at that point. I didn't realize I was doing it untill I was done.

High school started and I hated it. I was shy, afraid, silly. I fell for a sophmore in my math class. Got treated like dirt, then realized I loved my best friend. Who I ended up dating for the rest of that year. But the rumors continued and I kept cutting. Had people I thought were my friends, turn on me, again and again. I cheated, I cut, I cried, I had a horrible year minus the guy that was always there for me. He was my best friend first and stayed there for me no matter what I put him through. I truly did love him.

Sophmore year I left my first lovef or a girl 2,000 miles away. I was still trying to find myself. I came to terms with the fact that I was Bisexual. While the relationships took its toll on me, my best friend was always there. Right by my side, a little too close. But we couldn't let go of each other. The love was still there. And for that, my cutting got worse and worse. I almost had to go to the hospital, I put my parents through hell, I hurt a lot of people.

Starting junior year, me and my best friend let go. Well more like we got in a huge fight and I now have no one. The only person I have is an amazing guy helping me through it all.

 

I still cut to this day. Therapy isn't helping, but no one really knows what's wrong with me. Hell, I don't even know what's wrong with me. But I do know this; I'm addicted to cutting, I had behavior problems, I hurt everyone I love, I fight thoughts of suicide daily, and I'm Depressed.

 

Taking the time to learn about someone's past, can change your view of that person.

Think about what your words can do to someone.

Think about how a compliment can brighten someone's day.

 

This is my story: What's Yours?

 

Braylee Benjamin

January 4, 2012

 

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