Smitty: Eh?! OH! Shift with the babe!
Boyd: Hey you keep your eyes on THEM, not her rack, you understand?
Smitty: I'm good to go!
*Smitty walks over to Francis and his jaw about drops*
I-I-I-I...just gonna...look out this window here...yeah...over there.
*Francis laughs to herself*
1 hour later
Smitty: I'm glad you let us use your phone to call back to post. BC would've pissed himself if he found out we went AWOL...which we didn't!
Francis: Why are you still standing over there? You can sit next to me...I don't bite...
Smitty: Gotta stay fo-focused on the objective!
Francis: MEN! Even if there was a perfectly good thing right in front of you, you would still be off in your OWN world.
Smitty: Thats how we get things done. We close one door, and open another, only after making sure the first one is closed. You women open every door and then try to revisit every room at ONE time.
*Francis walks up behind Smitty*
What would you say if I closed the door behind us? Would that be better for you?
Francis: Come on...don't tell me you don’t want me. I see the way you look at me. Calling me “babe”...wondering what could've been behind my labcoat, or what my hair looks like out of a bun...
Smitty: Ok OK! Yeah, you're sexy, I'll give you that. BUT! Now you're just throwing yourself at me! You didn't act like this before!
Francis: Because, things were DIFFERENT! I was in UNIFORM! That’s me at WORK! ME at HOME is a different beast.
Smitty: Yeah, well...I'm STILL in UNIFORM! Work becomes HOME when you're in the military...
Francis: But you DON'T have to be...in that uniform!
Smitty: Yeah, I know, but its still my job to make sure EVERYONE is safe...come sex, a nice rack, or...or...a sexy girl!
Francis: DAMN IT! DAMN! DAMN! DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMITTTTTTT!
Francis starts jumping up and down, stomping on the ground
Smitty: Hell's wrong with you? You're a GODDAMN grown WOMAN! You better square yourself away!
Francis: Why do all the men in my life ALWAYS IGNORE ME?! WHY WON'T YOU SLEEP WITH ME?! WHY?!
Smitty: Look, I'd LOVE to bang your back OUT, but its not fair to everyone else. Not like this. I took an oath to protect the citizens of the United States from enemies both foreign and domestic. I GIVES A DAMN if the zombies out there are Romanian or from Rome, GA, I WILL ALWAYS PLACE THE MISSION-
*Francis falls on him crying*
Francis: He...he bought me this house. He said it would be our place!
Smitty: Your “partner” huh?
Francis *sob* He...I KNEW he was MARRIED! He said he would LEAVE her...but she had his children. *sob* The reason he died...is because...because I WAS HAVING SEX WITH HIM WHEN WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MONITORING G.O.D. I pressured him INTO IT! I..I..unzipped his pants! HE said NO...but..but... I KNEW he LOVED IT!
Smitty: I was wondering why you had a big place like this...
Francis: He said he LOVED me...that he would GIVE ANYTHING to be with me! Hes the *sob* reason I even got attached to the project!
Smitty: I hate to tell you this...but...your partner was a DOUCHE!
Francis: HOW DARE YOU! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW-
Smitty: DID HE EVER TAKE YOU OUT?! HUH?! DID HE EVER ACKNOWLEDGE YOU AT WORK!?
Francis: He said he-
Smitty: DID HE?! ANSWER!
Francis: NO! NO HE DIDN'T!
Smitty: Its because he was a cheating BASTARD! He played on your growing up WITHOUT a father!
Francis: HOW DO YOU KNOW-
Smitty: 9 out of 10 times, females who don't have their fathers CRAVE attention from any man that shows them interest. Your “partner” knew THAT! He knew you would swoon if he got you promotions. He would've traded you for a newer model once he got you pregnant...
*Francis covers her mouth in disgust*
Smitty: I'd NEVER be ashamed of YOU, or hide you or...make up EXCUSES about why we can't be together. He bought you this “castle”, WAY THE HELL OUT IN STONE MOUNTAIN! You WORK in ATLANTA! He loved your thighs, not your eyes, or the way they light up when you talk about science...
*Francis falls on the floor*
Smitty: Look Francis, hes dead. And for good reason. I might not wanna sleep with you...tonight...but...I LIKE you.
Francis *sob* You...do?
Smitty: Yeah, even if Vonotar likes you too. But its cool. I make more money than him. Which means I look better. You'll be secure with me.
*Francis picks herself up off the floor and dries her eyes*
I bet...I looked like a fool...carrying on like that. Heh!
Smitty: Please, we all have done, or do stupid things. We just gotta deal.
Francis: Well, then I accept your offer Chris Smith! You are...hereby allowed to court me.
*Francis puts her hand out*
Smitty: yeah...right after this shift is over...
*Francis punches him in the arm*
[Smitty smiles a bit, and so does Francis...]
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