Y2K
Author: Quatez Reid

Chapter 5
The First One

Lewis! You stop playin' around Dammit! The jokes gone on long enough, son.

[Lewis just looks at him with a blank expression with drool hanging from his mouth. Boyd tries to put his hand on his shoulder but Lewis slaps it off and Judo flips him over. Then Lewis instinctively places all of his body weight on top of Lt. Boyd...]

Boyd: Come ON LEWIS! WHAT THE HELL'RE YOU DOIN'? PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER SOLDIER!

[Lewis leans in closer to Lt. Boyd and Open his mouth, allowing saliva to drip down on Lt. Boyd's neck...]

Lewis: HiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Lewis leans in for the kill, but Smitty throws an MRE box at him, knocking him off Boyd...]

Smitty: Chew On that You Mealy...Vagina....uhh...Mouthed GEEK!

[Boyd rolls over and gets up to run over to Smitty, but Lewis grabs his boot strings and pulls him back down...]

HEY! LIL Help here BATTLE!

Smitty: I'M ALL OUTTA MRE BOXES MAN! HOLD ON! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

*Lewis tries to take a bite out of Boyd's ankle, but Vonotar hits him with another MRE box*

Vonotar: I shouldn't have done that! My PROFILE!

Boyd: SHUTUP AND GET ME OUTTA HERE!

Vonotar: Looks like hes got your boot strings sir!

Boyd: GEE THANKS! TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW!

Vonotar: The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C...

Boyd: JUST GET ME OUT! FRICKIN' POIN-DEXTER!

Vonotar: Luckily for you sir, I also carry a knife as sharp as my wit!

*Vonotar pulls his knife out but gets pulled down by Lewis's other hand*

Well this is certainly dramatic irony at its finest!

[Smitty comes running back with a handful of rocks and starts throwing them at Lewis...]

Vonotar: Yeah sir! Thatll really make him release us! A biblical stoning!

Smitty: SHUT THE HELL UP VONOTARD! I'm doing the best I can!

Vonotar: SIR! I dropped my knife! Cut his hands off!

[Lewis leans into Vonotar and mounts him and leans in bite his neck. Smitty drops his rocks and jumps on Lewis' back and uses a “combatives modified seatbelt” rear naked choke hold on him...]

Lewis: HIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Smitty: Man! I dunno what got into you, or how ya got this way, but I've ALWAYS...never liked you!

*Lewis escapes the position and throws Smitty on the ground mounts him, releasing Vonotar and Boyd*

Vonotar: There's something you don't see everyday...a zombie who...OH MY GOD!

*Vonotar gets his KABAR and stabs Lewis in the crown of his head, killing him. Lewis falls right on top of Smitty*

Smitty: You couldn't have done that SOONER?!

Vonotar: Sir...I just thought of something...

Boyd: What?

[Smitty pulls himself out from under Lewis' more dead body and kicks it...]

Vonotar: He seemed to retain some of his humanity. I know it sounds stupid...but hear me out. He clearly used "Combatives" moves on us back there.

Smitty: Your point?

Vonotar: Lewis was "Combatives" Level 3 certified!

Smitty: Pssssh! Theres no way zombies can retain ANY biological data. They're braindead!

Vonotar: Or maybe its some kinda viral strain...bacteria sir...

Smitty: What? In the meat? The water? Remember that from earlier?

Vonotar: Well the guys thought it would be funny to scare you a bit sir...but, I read that last week on the web. Some kinda new virus thing.

Boyd: Well, if its in the meat, and water... we gotta report back to HQ.

Smitty: Ok...if thats to be believed! Vonotard, get on the radio

Vonotar: And call whom sir?

Smitty: Whom? DAMN! YOU'RE right! We gotta go back to post. Its not like a battalion FTX or anything. Ok! Suit up! We roll out...oh, and somebody please shutup the pounding!

Boyd: Its coming from the latrines....

Smitty: Well, then forget it.

*Smitty puts his foot on Lewis' head and pulls the blade out of his brain*

Can I borrow this?

Vonotar: Oh why not? Leave the genius of the group defenseless!

 

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