Romeo And Juliet Roller Coaster
Author: C.C Phoenixx

Chapter 14
What Changed?

Jude told me to drop him off at home and that he'd see me later when I pulled into his driveway.

Kaiko and Tonya grabbed their stuff from the trunk and headed inside while Jude hung back and leaned in through my open window. The sun was setting and the sky was this strange pinkish-purplish-gray color that faded into a navy blue dotted with twinkling stars, the warm air was getting chilly, and his orangey eyes...they were warm and intense and sent chills down my spine as he leaned closer to me and said, "Thanks, Bammie."

I smirked, my lips not even a centimeter away from his as I said, "Any time, Jude-ie."

He closed the distance between our mouths, his lips warm and soft and...slow. He kissed me slowly, tenderly, as if he didn't want to let go, like I was his only excuse for existing and in that one moment that's all I wanted, was to feel as needed and loved as I did while he was kissing me.

But even the greatest things have to end and when he pulled back this arctic chill ran through me, leaving me empty and alone and scared, even his beautiful eyes, gleaming and shining in the setting sunlight, didn't hold any comfort. I felt lost as he winked at me and strode into his house.

Everything in my world seemed to darken as we parted and I drove away, as if he was the only light that existed in a cave-dark room.

This sensation frightened me.

I felt broken as I returned to a place that was supposed to be "home", supposed to be welcoming, but the moment I stepped inside every eye was directed towards me and Mom came at me like a wild tornado.

"Where the hell have you been?" she shouted. "What makes you think you can just leave the house without telling me? Without asking me permission? Do you think that's alright? To just disappear without telling anyone? I was so worried!"

I ground my teeth together and glared at the beautiful woman before me. She held no motherly feeling that could make me feel better, no matter how much I wished she did. She was more like a stranger who'd stayed in my house for a few years, left continuously, and came back like a lost puppy. Pitiful.

"Cut the shit, Ma," I growled out. "You don't care so stop trying to act like a mother in front of a boyfriend who probably only wants you for your fake perky boobs and your tight-as-guitar strings ass. And do you think it's alright for you to 'just disappear without telling me'? No? I didn't think so."

With that I stomped up to my room.

Sighing as I slammed the door and locked it, I thought back to when my mom left us the first time...why had I been so heartbroken? That thought pissed me off and I went to my stereo system and put in a Lil Wayne CD, cranking up "I feel like dying", my new favorite song.
"I am sittin on the clouds
I got smoke coming from my seat
I can play basketball with the moon
I got the whole world at my feet
Playin? touch football on Marijuana Street
Or in a marijuana field
You are so beneath my cleats
Get high, so high that I feel like lying
Down in a cigar
Roll me up & smoke me cause
I feel like dying."

The lyrics kinda numbed me, as if the music got me high and I fell, clothes and all, onto my bed, closing my eyes and breathing deeply, trying to let go of the anger inside me.

It was never a good idea to go to sleep pissed.

By around nine-thirty that night, after Mom was screaming for me and Blue came knockin' on my door, I'd drifted off to sleep, but sleep for me is never really a sanctuary...more of a place my mind reverts to when it can't process the events unfolding around me. 


"Bam?" a voice called as I backed away from the creep who was staring at my bare body with hungry, perverted eyes.

"Jude!" I screamed as loud as I could. "Help me!" the words barely escaped my mouth before he was on top of me, groping me, trying to undo the button on his pants and unzip them.

I struggled against his weight, tried to break free of his greedy grasp that grabbed at me.

"BAM?" Jude yelled, shaking the locked door to the bathroom.

"JUDE!" I shrieked once my mouth was free of the guy's clamp of a hand.

Suddenly, there was a loud thump as the door was knocked inwards, the lock breaking under the impact of Jude's foot slamming into its surface.

The weight on top of me, nearly suffocating me was removed so fast that it took me a few seconds to process the fact that I was able to breath.

My eyes focused on the ceiling, white and innocent, and motionless, as if it were stunned into utter silence...like me. I just lay there on the bathroom floor while grunts and groans came from somewhere in the hallway. There was a scream, a pained, shrill, cry before a familiar face peered over at me and orange eyes were the only things I saw.

"Bam, you're safe with me," Jude whispered, picking me up and setting me on the toilet, wrapping a towel gingerly on me and making sure to never let his eyes wonder from my wide, empty ones.

There was a strange noise coming from the distance, making my bones rattle and shaking tears from my eyes...

"Shh, Bammie-Boo," Jude whispered, picking me up and setting me on his lap, rocking me as if I were a baby, and it took the sweet, silencing touch of his lips on mine to make me realize that the noise was coming from my throat.

Jude was there for me until my mom came home and screamed at Jude to leave because he'd done a lot of damage on he boyfriend, that was the first time I'd ever heard Jude raise his voice at a woman. Despite Jude's cockiness and complex he never disrespected a woman, no matter how pissed he was.

But this had crossed the line.

He called the police once my mom actually kicked him out of the house, he reported a rape, told them everything...

Mom's new boyfriend was rotting behind bars within days.

The near-rape...it changed me and that's why I acted the way I did...

But one thing always bothered me, one thing I never found out, why had Jude come to my house that day? Because before that all happened, the two of us had drifted apart to the point that the only times we actually saw each other was when we passed each other in the hall. Jude had withdrawn from all of us after his parents died and once he'd "had enough cryin' my fuckin' eyes out" he'd said once, he seemed to go numb and dump all his old friends for potheads, sluts, and players.

But what had changed that day?


I sat up in bed, put my head in my hands and breathed deeply, trying to dispel the dreams or more like memories that had been buried deep down. The thoughts, though, the questions, they all circled in my head and I needed to find out the answers, needed to know what happened.


 

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