Loving You
Author: Lacey Raine

Chapter 25
Xander

 Stevie came in to wake me up at six thirty, as per. She looked at me and sighed. "Have you slept at all?"

"Not a lot," I admitted.

"D'you wanna stay off today?" She offered. "I'm not at work again."

"No, its okay. I have to go back sometime," I sighed. "I don't want them to think I'm too scared to face them."

"D'you want me to explain what's happen to Carrie, Damon and Jess?"

"Yeah, they have a right to know, I guess." I shrugged. "Thanks, Stevie. For everything."

"No problem, babe," She smiled at me. "You get yourself ready, eh?" I smiled at her, then went and had a shower, got dressed and went downstairs.

Damon Carrie and Jess were sitting in the living room. Paulie was balanced on Damon's knee.  Stevie smiled at me. "You okay, mate?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Shall we go?" I picked up my bag. Carrie stood up.

"Hey, d'you want me and Jess to give Axel a kicking?" She offered.

"Hell no," It came out before I could stop it. They all blinked at me. I sighed. "Please. Let's just... go." Stevie and Damon left the room. I was left with Jess and Carrie. They looked at each other and appeared to be having a mental argument. Jess lost. She stood up and hugged me.

"Xander...I know that everyone at school's making a huge deal out of this," Are they? Good to know. "But you're our brother. And I think I'm speaking for Cazz and Damon as well as me when I say that we love you no matter what."

"I love you guys too," I hugged her back and pulled Carrie in too. "I'm just... making something out of nothing, as per. Okay. It's not really nothing... but like Stevie said. There'll be other guys, right?"

"Right," Carrie said smiling at me. We all went and got into the car and went to school.

I didn't really know what to do with myself in the morning. I was so used to going to our alley- but I assumed Axel would be there and I couldn't face him. I didn't really have any friends as such; I got along with pretty much everyone but I didn't want to foist myself on them. I just kind of wandered, until someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to see a short dark haired girl name Hillary standing behind me. She smiled. "Hey, Xander," She said, softly. "D'you wanna come hang out with us?" She gesturerd at the small wall not far away from us, where a group of people I vaguely knew were sitting.

"Thanks, Hillary," I smiled and went with her. Her friends grinned when we approached.

"Hi, guys," She said. I leaned against the wall, just wanting to melt into it. Ha. Not likely. Robin grinned at me.

"You know, we think everyone's being dickheads over the photo," He said. "I mean, you are what you are, right?"

"Thanks, Robin," I said, my smile becoming strained.

"Where is Axel?" Sarah asked. I swallowed and bent my head.

"I dunno," I said, tears starting to form in my eyes. "He er... he broke up with me."

"Oh God, I'm sorry," Sarah hugged me. Jesus Christ, this was gonna be a long day.

***

I totally forgot about science. Why the hell did I jump in that day with Tyler? I should've just left them to it. Axel was talking to the teacher when I walked into the lesson. "Sir, please. I just can't work with him..." He was saying. Then he saw me enter the room. The teacher looked at both of us. "I'm sorry, boys. I can't switch partners round." He said.

"Fine," Axel sighed and sat in his seat. I sat beside him. He had his chair edged as far away from mine as possible, and kept his eyes trained on the front. When the teacher told us to start working in partners, I turned to face him.

"Axel, babe, I..." I tried to take his hand, but he pulled it away from me.

"I've told you, Xander, don't call me babe," He said. "It was great, what we had, but it's over."

"But Axel, I love you," I don't know why I said it again; it wasn't going to help. He sighed and looked down at the book.

"Yeah. Let's get on with the work, shall we?" He said.

Why the hell hadn't I stayed off school when I had the chance?

 

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