Piercing The Sky, A Book of My Poems
Author: Neil Evans

Chapter 91
The First Fight

During a new relationship there is always a stage. It's called "The First Fight" and it's always the start of the end. Only five days. I wrote forty poems. Now I feel like it's all coming down. Excuse the mediocrity of this poem, it was written in the haste of 10 minutes. Saturday, August 28, 2010.




I let you in

I let you feel my walls

How they slither

How they crawl


And I thought we were great

I thought I could count

The many, many ways I care

And the many, many things we share



You feel unwanted.

I don't show that I care?

Well what would you like?

Would you like a ring?

A diamond or a jewel?


Well I've given you it all

Let me explain this clearly

I'm not part of my generation

So I'm sorry if I won't

Smack your ass as you pass


And I'm so sorry

If you don't want me

To be me

But that's all I am

That's who I am


So take a backseat

You don't understand

I told you things

About myself

Nobody else will ever know


And how do I get repaid?

For all the times I try to make you smile

Make you laugh and make you happy

You have the nerve and gall

To simply say that

I don't show I care


When everything I've ever done

I did just to see that smile

To make sure that you would see

How much I care


And when I stop mid-sentence

I save myself from another fight

Inside I silently cry because

This is the start of a road downhill

I stop myself mid-sentence

From starting another fight


But you press on,

When you say "no"

That's the end of it

When I say "no"

It's only the beginning


I love your psychology

How I should feel so bad

To give up everything I had


You were supposed to be

The one

The one I'd never let go

But now I feel as if

I could burn the bridges

And simply leave


I do everything possible

To show how much I care

I write you poems,

I do what you want to do

And I say what will make you happy


How do I get repaid?

My heart aches and burns

It writhes and squirms

And I think tonight

I lost my patience

I thought you'd changed

You didn't.


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