The Mischievous Nerd's Guide to World Domination
Author: Stephen Oberauer

Chapter 50

We lived in a new world. I don’t know if you can imagine what the world was like. Everyone was on holiday all the time. Anything that anyone wanted was theirs. If you wanted to go somewhere, you went. If you wanted something, it was yours. If you wanted to do something, ... well, depending on what you wanted to do, you could do it. Cameras watched the streets, and hidden microphones listened. If a crime was committed, everyone knew about it. The person committing the crime would immediately be arrested, detained, punished, rehabilitated and returned into society. People coming out of rehab were strangely pleasant, and, at the same time, rather paranoid about doing anything wrong ever again. I remember a funny occasion when a group of pacifists held a march, protesting against the punishment. I thought it was rather funny, because they didn’t know who they were protesting against. No-one knew who controlled the world. Well, only a few, anyway.

You may be wondering what one does when one lives in Utopia. Does one have goals, or ambitions? What is the purpose of one’s life? We certainly did have ambitions. My next ambition was to travel in space. As for the rest of the world, they were supplied with the most incredible games imaginable. Travelling was another thing that was fun to do. The world was full of variety. Entire cities were built, based on themes. There were western cities, where people rode around on horses. Other cities had alien, fairytale, dinosaur and magic themes. Various games could be played in the cities, like cowboys and Indians. It’s not the kind of cowboys and Indians that you might be familiar with. These games were seriously fun to play, and also quite exciting to watch. The robots had managed to make the alien cities feel as if you were on another planet. They even managed to reduce the gravity in the city somehow.

In November, 2013, the replicator was invented. The replicator was able to make copies of things. It was not perfect, but could replicate nearly anything that could be built upwards. This is because it would start building the object from the bottom up. It could take pretty much anything larger than the object you wanted to copy and transform that into something else, leaving behind black pebbles made of the waste material that it couldn’t use. Einstein explained to me that they had plans to make one that was able to copy anything, even while that thing was moving. He told me that they would eventually be able to transport someone instantly by making a copy and then destroying the original.

‘Are you insane?!’ I yelled at Einstein. I had not been angry in a while, but this was a very scary thought. A robot with far superior intelligence to my own did not understand the concept of the human soul. Einstein had had a smile on his face while explaining his plans, which immediately dissolved into a very human-like confused look. ‘You look and sound and act so much like us,’ I continued, ‘but you really do not have a clue about what we are, do you? We are souls. We are not our bodies. Our bodies are simply interfaces between our souls and the world.’

‘We would make an exact replica. The entire atomic structure of the copy will be exactly the same. Nothing will be lost,’ Einstein explained.

‘If you make a copy of me, I will still be me. I will not be my copy! This is not something I expect you to understand. You just have to believe that there are things that humans know and understand that robots never will! Promise me that you will simply accept what I have just told you as the truth, and make sure that all the other robots learn it too!’

‘I promise,’ Einstein replied, obediently.


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