Through The Hands Of A Blind Man
Author: Jewel Heart

Chapter 1
One♣

I don’t think I can say anything in my life is too out of the ordinary. Sure, I’m in therapy and have panic disorder; I have daily hallucinations and I need special medication, but I can’t say that everything in my life is too crazy. So what if I’m a hazard to those around me? I haven’t killed anyone yet.

Yet.

If I found myself holding someone’s bleeding body with one hand and a knife with the other, then I might just escape this denial. For now though, I was nothing more than a troubled high school senior. As long as nobody knew about my symptoms, then everything would be dandy.

“Yeah,” I muttered to myself. “This doesn’t mean anything. I’m special, but not special enough for a straightjacket.” Until the day came that I would be locked away for good, nothing that I did could harm either me or anyone nearby. The corners of my lip twitched and I had to refrain from bursting out in hysteria.

I looked out the window at endless snow. The colors of winter days never cease to put a smile on my face. Not even the continuous outbursts on the school bus give me headaches during this season, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish they all had a mute button. I sighed and shoved my headphones into my ears and blasted some hard rock.

One of my earphones suddenly flew away. I instantly looked over to find that Elliot Griggs had decided to join me. I offered a small smile and continued my head banging.

“How was your winter break?” asked Elliot, tugging at my earphone again. I eyed him suspiciously. Elliot was an average-looking seventeen year old with short brown hair and curious eyes. He shrugged out of his jacket, revealing a blue long sleeve with an open collar.

I shrugged. “Alright, I guess,” I replied. “Yours?”

“Kickass,” he grinned. “Have you ever been skiing up in Canada? The slopes are wicked.”

I blinked and looked away embarrassed. “Physical activity and I don’t mix very well.” Staring out the window, I imagined falling down a mountain and winced. How painful.

“I doubt that. You’re graceful, you know?”

“I just mean, I hit myself too often when I exercise. I’d rather draw.”

“Whatever, Charlie,” he rolled his eyes.

I kept a straight, indifferent expression as the back of my head suddenly started stinging. I forgot to take my medicine today, I realized. This migraine is going to be bothering me all day. Leaning forward in my seat, I closed my eyes and allowed Led Zeppelin to engulf my mind.

The entire ride to West Senior High, I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that Elliot was eyeing me. Why did he sit here in the first place? I’m not sociable by any means and most people have come to that realization. It’s a waste of time to talk to me since I have nothing to offer. Small talk is hell and a long conversation doesn’t come naturally unless I’m comfortable with the other person.

I dismissed the subject and followed the line leading out of the bus. As soon as I jumped out, a cold wind slapped my cheeks, coloring them a soft pink. The cold air relieved me from my sudden migraine in a few minutes. The remedy to all illnesses is spending time in an environment you love, I decided. Hugging my old trench coat, I walked to the front office and retrieved my renewed schedule.

Not much of my schedule had been changed, surprisingly. I had decided to transfer to an extra AP class and my parents had pushed me out of art class, but other than that, the only subjects that were switched up were language arts, chemistry and history class. A smile escaped. I won’t have to deal with too many strangers, thankfully.

I avoided several procrastinating students as I strolled to my locker. Opening the small metal door, I scanned the hallway from my peripheral vision. Everything is always the same. Nobody ever breaks away from their groups no matter what happens. I bet that if there was a fire, they would make sure to remain together instead of running for their lives. I sighed and swung my checkered messenger bag over my shoulder. Some things just can’t be changed—not that I’m complaining.

I like being alone. It gives me much more time for thinking and drawing. The handful of friends I did have were spread around the school, each of them strolling around the school with their very own cliques. I’m happy that I’m an outcast. Nobody interrupts my creativity that way.

“Charlotte!” someone called. I turned to see Grayson Bennett making his way towards me. I instantly hugged him.

Grayson was a handsome boy with shaggy ashy brown hair, a heavy brow and distant violet eyes. I met him three years ago when we had moved from Georgia to Michigan. He was the only friend I didn’t mind spending hours with. But every time I saw him, there was something gnawing at my chest. As if saying, it’s a lost cause. Every time I stared into his purple eyes, I was reminded that he would never see me—or anyone for that matter. I winced as I pulled away from his lean body. Grayson’s only disadvantage was that he was blind—born blind and always will be.

“Morning,” I smiled. “How’d you know I was in the room?”

“You’re wearing your platform boots,” he said. “They make a soft clanking sound that’s added onto the soft sound of your dragging feet.”

I looked down at my blue plaid boots. “Guess I’ll have to stop that. It’s a bad habit.”

“Don’t,” he instantly retorted. “I like it. Reminds me of a heavy rain.” He smiled, revealing a small dimple at the corner of his lips.

I sighed and pulled him along with me. “Did your schedule change this semester?”

“Uh…they told me I still have the same schedule. But I have a free period because they don’t want me in P.E. They say it’s dangerous, but I don’t see the sense in that. They probably think that I’ll get in the way of others. What about you?”

“Well, I have personal fitness sixth period now and A.P. chemistry.” I shrugged and stared ahead.

“I thought you were terrible with your hands?” Grayson frowned. Despite his lack of sight, the rest of his face was still overly expressed. Though, after getting to know him, I had noticed how the shade of purple in his eyes changed depending on his mood.

I laughed. “Who ever said contrary?” Grayson looked down indifferently. “Hey, it’ll build pain tolerance. You’ll know that if I get in a fight, I’ll last a while.”

“I hope you don’t get in a fight.” He softly jabbed me in the stomach. My eyes widened. How the hell is his aim so perfect?

“Why not? I think a fight would be fun.”

“Because if you get hurt, I won’t know whose ass to kick.” He flashed a smile in my direction. I blinked, taken aback and looked up at his tan face. Grayson stopped in his tracks. “What?” his head tilted.

“How do you want me to respond to that?” I asked.

Confusion overtook his features. “Huh?” He looked into a classroom and walked towards the wall with his hands outstretched before him so he wouldn’t crash. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Charlie.” His fingertips stroked the classroom numbers. Once he’d decided that this wasn’t his classroom, he searched for my arm. I took his hand and directed him in the right course.

I sighed. “Yeah, Gray.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know what I’m talking about either, I mean.” I scratched my head. “Do you think I’ve finally reached my peak? Have I finally lost my mind?”

“I don’t know what those people are talking about, Lottie. I think you’re perfectly sane. If you changed, you wouldn’t be the girl I love so much.” Grayson flashed another smile. “You’re my best friend, you know?”

I looked away, flushed. Grayson was the only person outside of the family that knew about my therapy and antidepressants. For years he had always been constantly assuring me that I wasn’t going insane, that I could overcome the small challenges placed before me and that I didn’t need to change whatsoever. I hated when he did that.

“I know…” I replied softly.

Grayson snickered. “I like your heartbeat. It’s a pitter patter and then it’s like marching band drums.”

“Thank you?”

He shrugged. “I like how it sounds. You might not notice, but it always does that. Probably your panic disorder, but it has different speeds for different people.”

“Your magical hearing catches all,” I muttered dryly.

“Seems like it.” He held onto my messenger bag for guidance as we made our way up the stairs. “I’m sorry, I’m just observant. There’s only a limited amount of things you can do when you’re blind, you know?”

I opened my mouth to say something and instantly shut it, deciding that there wasn’t any easy way to argue.

The second bell rang. “Shit!” I mumbled. “Gray, you’ll be late. C’mon, I’ll walk you.”

“Lottie, I know where my class is,” He held up his hands in defense. “I can get to class on my own. You have trig on the third floor that you should be getting to.” He patted my head and offered a reassuring smile.

I hesitated. “I’ll see you later.”

He grinned. “No worries. Good day.”

 

 

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