Lily's Diary
GenreDrama / Romance
Age Rating:R15
Submitted:Tuesday, 30 March 2010
Star rating:
 
(11 ratings)
Read by:676 different readers
 

6 months after her mother's death in a car accident, Lily Streamwood hopes to just pass high school to leave her agonizing life. She lives with her father, step-mother, and two step-sisters who had recently joined the family.

During school one day, she runs into an old friend: Jake Ashton, her long time best friend since they were little kids who came back after moving away before freshmen year of high school to be a male model.

As life goes on, she keeps a diary of what's going on, and things start to change when Jake comes back, and when he's back, he hopes to pick up where they left off. He also has hopes of picking up the pieces of her shattered heart from the suffering she has in her life and put it all back together, so she can move on with life.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 0 A Diary Entry
Ch. 1 Dreaming and Remembering
Ch. 2 Sally's
Ch. 3 Missing You
Ch. 4 Eyes
Ch. 5 Feeling Betrayed Sucks
Ch. 6 Cinderella
Ch. 7 A New Blair
Ch. 8 Pain in the Heart
Ch. 9 "Don't leave me."
Ch. 10 "How do you know that for sure?"
Ch. 11 Amazing
Ch. 12 The Tattoo
Ch. 13 Summertime
Ch. 14 Relieving Tension Inside Jake
Ch. 15 Jake the Hero
Ch. 16 The Note
Ch. 17 "For us."
Ch. 18 Sex
Ch. 19 Complete and Utter Denial
Ch. 20 "It'll all be over soon."
Ch. 21 Dear Jake
Ch. 22 "Nothing will hold us back."
Ch. 23 Leaving and Not Looking Back
Ch. 24 Help
Ch. 25 Forever
Ch. 26 Acknowledgements

Comments

AtomicAsh Thursday, 9 May 2013
This is really good :) check out my books
Sweet-Sins Sunday, 20 February 2011
wow
this is lovely
im glad im reading it
just finished chapter one :)
its really good
i will defo read more!!

hope you can stop by and leave some comments on my work, it would really help :)

thanks and keep writing!!!
love sweets
xxx
 
AlaskaEverfall Monday, 10 January 2011
Okay, I' ma total grammar nazi. So, I'm sorry if I annoy you with my constant babbling.

First of all, I'm SO sorry for this late comment. I had so much on my mind, I didn't come on this site for a long, long time. =(

I love the first chapter, and it really portrays your character's reaction towards whoever died. Just from that, I know that they had been very close to the person they'd lost. =(

No one thing {that} can make me... >>> Do you need that word there? Remember, try to be as less wordy as possible. <<<

A lot of your sentences start with the letter "I." Although that's not a bad thing, it's still not good for your writing. You want your readers to see you as a creative writer who uses a range of different words. =)

Lily is a beautiful name. ♥

...flashing on and off, reading [eight-fifty] >>> Always have your numbers in words. =) <<<

Since it [is] a... >>> Change of tense. <<<

Since it was a [nine-thirty] start... >>> Make sure to spell your numbers out. <<<

So as I [am] getting ready... >>> Be careful, because there is a change of tense there. <<<

...have planned for me to "tag along with her" to. >>> Never end a sentence with a preposition. Maybe use some other word? <<<

I like how you have your dialogue, but I feel that you use too many dialogue tags. I won't go into detail, but if you want to know more about them, send me a message. ♥

...she said [in] a snobby tone. >>> I think "in" is a better word in that case. <<<

...it's your [seventeenth] tomorrow... >>> Numbers. =) <<<

Never tack on adverbs at the end of your dialogue. It doesn't look too good, trust me. =)

I said[,] beginning to tear... >>> Comma. <<<

Aw, I love the last line. I love this book so much, and I have no doubt that this is one of the best I've read on this site. Five stars for sure. ♥

Remy xx
 
Brianna Tuesday, 24 August 2010
this book is amazing as are all your other books:) i love it! and you, my dear, are a crazy amazing writerr!
 
Shreya S. Thursday, 29 July 2010
and I hope that one day you do get published..

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