The Static's Emotion (complete)
GenreYoung Adult / Sci-Fi
Age Rating:R15
Submitted:Friday, 12 October 2018
Star rating:
 
(3 ratings)
Read by:81 different readers
 

Music kept me company. That, and the occasional glitch that seemed to happen. A door would vanish, or the same person would walk by twice, or cloud patches would turn into rainbow static.
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As we reached the base floor, they began moving again. Shaking like jelly, they stood up from their bodies and faced the door, picking up their belongings. The newly dead bodies then were wrapped in wires that came out of the button plate...and then dragged the bodies into the wall.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 Part 1
Ch. 2 Part 2
Ch. 3 Part 3
Ch. 4 Part 4
Ch. 5 Part 5
Ch. 6 Part 6
Ch. 7 Part 7
Ch. 8 Part 8
Ch. 9 Part 9
Ch. 10 Part 10
Ch. 11 Part 11
Ch. 12 Part 12
Ch. 13 Part 13
Ch. 14 Part 14
Ch. 15 Part 15

Comments

 
Luna Nix Thursday, 29 November 2018
A fascinating approach to portray emotion. The writing seems to convey uncertainty and panic, also I have trouble determining whether it is intentional or simply a matter of lacking vocabulary. The piece has a few errors and leaves the reader with many questions, some which should probably be addressed in the story: Is this a universe with powers, or is it all imagined? What has caused Mara's "fall from grace", as she was recently the teacher's pet, but her trauma is a result of a lifetime of abuse (is this an inconsistency?) What justifies the bully's attack- most people wouldn't jump straight to murder. I don't want to leave my review on a sour note because this story has a lot of potential- I le the details of Mara digging her nails into her neck, and the clear tone transition at the end is well done. I hope you continue working with this concept!
 
J.D. Brown, Hexagames CEO Wednesday, 28 November 2018
Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! A character in realistic emotional distress, a collective protagonist at hand, a ray of questionable hope, and an ending to open the reader's mind to endless highways! *Applause* Well done!! (Hope to see more completed work from you, ALMU. Keep writing, never stop!)
 
Taboo Tales Thursday, 15 November 2018
Wow! This was incredible! The ending is such a cliffhanger!
Rammed or survived?!
Kelly Maree Friday, 12 October 2018
As always, don't forget to leave feedback! It's really appreciated!

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