Memories
GenreRomance / Tragedy
Age Rating:G
Submitted:Tuesday, 17 September 2013
Star rating:
 
(2 ratings)
Read by:149 different readers
 

This is about the things that happened these past 15 years that i could never forget nor will i ever forget.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 At the Beginning
Ch. 2 The passing airplanes

Comments

 
Rocky Rochford Tuesday, 8 October 2013
Loving the story so far, absolutely nothing wrong with it, amazing. I look forwards to more.

Any chance you could check out my Book London's Burning?
 
OkamiWolf Saturday, 28 September 2013
Good chapter! I do have one piece of advice: we didn't get any names here. I think you should add in their names as that will help clear up any confusion as to who is saying what or who is doing what. I think you weaker point is in detail (like the 2nd paragraph when the girl was getting up seemed a bit choppy) but you are really good at describing the emotions and feelings of the main character. It really makes me connect to her and feel her emotions. I am curious to find how who 'she' is (the girl who the boy thought of when he was kissing the main character). Just keep writing and you will get better! I can't wait for the next chapter!
 
OkamiWolf Saturday, 21 September 2013
It was really good! The way you wrote about the character's feelings and emotions were great and I myself felt sad for her loss. I can't wait to read more!

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