Milldread and the brittish holgues
GenreDrama / Romance
Age Rating:R13
Submitted:Sunday, 7 June 2009
Star rating:
 
(10 ratings)
Read by:364 different readers
 

After getting adopted again Milldread falls in love with a british vampire ( named chase ) even though he is the worst kind of vamp. out there.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 0 a inturduction...
Ch. 1 Chapter 1

Comments

 
TheGrasshopper Wednesday, 10 November 2010
It did remind me of Twilight, but there's nothing wrong with that -writing in a similar way to another writer, I mean. You might wanna look over some of the spelling, but other than that, I liked your style. Very descriptive. I loved how you had all these details about the different kinds of vampires. Keep Going!
 
Erin Arnett Sunday, 27 September 2009
And also, the thing that bugs me the most, ask anyone, is when people switch between past and present tense. That is like a fourth grader writing. I don't know if you were half asleep when you wrote this or what, and sorry to sound so harsh, but if you hadn't told us you were twelve, I'd think you were eight!
 
Erin Arnett Sunday, 6 September 2009
ugh...I read this over again to see if you took into consideration all the comments about the Twilight-look alike thing. Whaich you didn't. Please take that out. And also your prolougue has absolutely no relation to you're first chapter.
 
Erin Arnett Tuesday, 18 August 2009
twilight copier alert!
 
Alissa Ryan Wednesday, 8 July 2009
I'm sorry. But I can't stand to read any more than this. As many have probably told you, it feels like you have started it by taking a complete scence out of Twilight but changed the names. The "kiss me" thing is straight out of Twilight, as well as the lopsided smile and the way the girl blushes at everything and how she acts just screams BELLA. And you are trying to copy Stephenie Meyer's writing style, as well. But the only difference is that HER'S works. If you had written this before Stephenie Meyer, it would not becomed published in this condition. You need to spread everything out and SHOW us, not TELL us. You have major grammar problems and I am SO sorry to tell you this, but I don't see any potential in you. And I'm also sorry to tell you that I know for a fact that I am good at spotting people with the potential to write well. My friend Colleen showed me something she wrote. It wasn't exactly amazing, but I had a feeling that she had real potential. Sure enough, she read what I wrote along with some really good books with some really good writing styles and now she has talent (to see what I mean, look up Colleen Miller and read "The Bad Guys Are Winning"). I'm sorry I have to tell you this. I just don't see any potential here.

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