Burning
GenreYoung Adult / Fiction
Age Rating:R13
Submitted:Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Star rating:
 
(4 ratings)
Read by:58 different readers
 

Garren Flame is your almost average teenage boy living in Torquin. He goes to school everyday. It's not his fault if he has a problem with the principal. Or if the principal has a problem with him. Thats just the way it isH
The things that are different about him- he ignores. he writes them off as something they're not. Because in Garrens world, different is bad. Really bad. And he could get sent to holding for being different. And thats even worse than being sent to war.
But one night he dreams. And so does his best friend Narra. But its not only them. Its also his enemy-Kevin. But the three put aside their differences and begin the journey their dream told them of.
And who knows, it may just pay off in the end.
And it may not.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 0 Introduction
Ch. 0 Phoenix Rising Chant/Poem
Ch. 1 Chapter One
Ch. 2 Chapter Two
Ch. 3 Chapter Three
Ch. 4 Chapter Four
Ch. 5 Chapter Five

Comments

FairyBlue Tuesday, 11 January 2011
Note to Readers:
So my laptop with all my saved story files on it ran out of battery :c
and i kinda lost the charger :C
so just be pacient, readers!!!! Chapter six and sven willbe added soon!!!!!
 
. Tuesday, 4 January 2011
This chapter is somewhat short, but this is an interesting read. The first chapter had the length but it was lacking something... Maybe too much emphasis on the anger of his past. I don't really know how to describe it. :)

The paragraphs would be better indented at the beginning of each one. Particularly in the first chapter because it seems to be one long paragraph at the beginning.

'Me and Narra' should be 'Narra and I'. It's more grammatically correct. :)

Remember to show the readers rather than tell them.

All in all, there may be a few tweaks here and there but it's actually a good read. :) I can't wait to read more so keep me posted. I could really get quite attached to this.

Rissa.
 
Whisper in the Night Saturday, 1 January 2011
I devoured this chapter. The way you write Garren's thoughts and actions is almost hypnotic. But could you slow down a little bit? Like, at first it was talking about an incident, then how to tick off Principal Lamen, then a bizarre experience that happened years ago, then back to Principal Lamen, and we hardly know much about the incident. I added this to my favourites.
FairyBlue Friday, 31 December 2010
Note to readers:
THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE< SO IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A ROMANCE, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!!
but you cn keep reading my book please :P
hcoop Wednesday, 29 December 2010
ok. here is what i think. really good characters. i really like Garren and Narra. I dont really understand Principal Lamen. Garren says that he is scary but he seems very weak in the story so far. I did notice some spelling mistakes as well. and i feel like the story has progressed too fast. because the whole romance thing happened so fast. but i really like the story line that you have!!! it just went to fast for my liking. keep working on it! its good so far! i would like to keep reading more :P

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