A Thousand Threads Outside of Eternity
GenreLiterary Fiction / Sci-Fi
Age Rating:R15
Submitted:Thursday, 5 March 2009
Star rating:
 
(13 ratings)
Read by:528 different readers
 

Here is one of my latests works. its a little (well a lot) rough around the edges, but I really need some feedback on it.
This rough draft book is loosely based (aka stolen) from some of the concepts and themes in Sari Asunder. I felt like this setting better suited the subject matter than some weird fantasy land. I hope you all find it enjoyable. I would appreciate any comments although I am mainly looking for comments that deal with concepts, plot, etc instead of mechanical issues that will be fixed during editing.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 Alone in the Cold
Ch. 2 8:15 at Sumitomo
Ch. 3 Just outside the walls
Ch. 4 Leaving Love Behind
Ch. 5 A Mirror Through Time
Ch. 6 The Last Thread
Ch. 7 Deliverance
Ch. 8 Accord
Ch. 9 After The Last Stand
Ch. 10 Megalomania and Reason
Ch. 11 Absolute power
Ch. 12 Relative evil
Ch. 13 one minute past never
Ch. 14 The future In retrospect
Ch. 15 Push
Ch. 16 Healing Time
Ch. 17 The Awakening
Ch. 18 Sleepy Little Eyes

Comments

 
Jw Jimerson Thursday, 17 May 2018
Captivating and intriguing
 
A.J.Y Wednesday, 13 January 2010
It is a cursed freedom to see your daughter getting married and to see the awful end her marriage will have - the suicide of the husband.
So far, you describe magnificently the complexity of the protagonist's nature. However, I really wish something would start to happen: he will decide something, will will for something, will meet someone etc.
From here the plot can go to everywhere and you are not imprisoned with the options. I cannot wait to see where the story turns.

A.J.Y

 
Alexei Zarya Tuesday, 12 January 2010
great work on your writing.
 
A.J.Y Monday, 11 January 2010
Wow, so creative, so powerful! You write magnificently. A story about the hard life of endless life it is so wise.

Keep writing and if you have time, can you have a look at my work too, I need some feedback as well?

A.J.Y
 
paul schoaff Thursday, 19 November 2009
Fascinating material. I like it very much, and if you say there are warts, I believe you, but they are minimal in what I have read.

Einstein might not be the best physicist to use for this particular example. He is famously noted for saying that God didn't play games. He resisted quantum physics and it's implications of some sort of randomness of where particles might be. I don't know what he thought of parallel universes.

Your manner of writing and the sense that you are having fun writing this come through in a satisfying way to the reader. Don't edit out the sense that this is a bit of flight of fancy, not an attempt to completely explain the abilities and situations of the character with rational explanations.

Perhaps Metaldog's books have a similar sense of fun about time travel.

I always thought the 'Treehouse' books, Jack and Annie, were too serious:)

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