The Last Black Giraffe
GenreAdventure / Fantasy
Age Rating:R13
Submitted:Monday, 28 June 2010
Star rating:
 
(2 ratings)
Read by:266 different readers
 

Misty Weath is one of the only surviving humans. She doesn't know what's happened to the world, but it's a lot different than she remembers. One thing's for certain: Whatever happened to the world can be undone. And, for some reason, Misty feels only she can do it.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 Misty: Waking Up

Comments

 
SingItForTheWorld Wednesday, 22 December 2010
So I read your profile and I was like awesome. a hard core writer. so i promise there will be no kissing-up. all constructive critisism. before that, let me say that i think it was good and has potential. good suspence, mystery and stuff like that. but it needs work. first, popping noise inside her eyelids? that doesn't make much sense. i think you should take that out. you also say the word 'light' too much in the same few sentences. try a different word for it or rewrite the sentences. it sounds to repetitive. also, try to make some of the sentences longer. short sentences are good, just not too many of them. it has to flow, and this seems choppy. good descriptions, but some are a little cliche. also, when you say 'looked like he could crush a man's head with his bear hands...' did you mean to say bear or bare? it would make sense either way but i'm just pointing it out there just in case you wanted the other. overall, it think this is a good start, and i hope you keep going with it.
 
Capitalletters Monday, 28 June 2010
I'm adding this to my favourites! Loved it! 5 stars from me.
Mind reading mine? :)

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